


Another empty seat in the city of ghosts.

by Rinusagitora



Series: Shinigami!Karin AU [4]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Drama, Dysfunctional Family, Fanart, Gen, Multi, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, POV Multiple, Shinigami Kurosaki Karin, Unreliable Narrator, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29235891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinusagitora/pseuds/Rinusagitora
Summary: Karin has taken her life. What follows is a maelstrom of emotion.
Relationships: Hitsugaya Toushirou/Kurosaki Karin
Series: Shinigami!Karin AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/811023
Kudos: 15





	1. Through the eyes of the ice king.

**Author's Note:**

> Karin's death is possibly the biggest & most important part of this AU. As such, I'll be posting multiple points of view of the procession, starting with Toushirou's.

It was hard to believe that, only days ago, Karin took her own life.

Toushirou saw it coming from miles and miles away. He was the one who cleaned up her cut wrists. Hurried over when she was suffering. But it wasn't enough.

Ultimately, Karin got what she wanted: a chance to be a shinigami.

Toushirou and Momo were being processed by the gate guardians. Following Aizen's desertion, they'd tightened up gateways to other dimensions. Now, captains and lieutenants were unable to travel without permission, unless they wanted to receive potentially fatal electrocution from the sigils staining their skins.

But they passed through later. Upstairs, Kisuke Urahara was showing them their gigai.

"Hinamori-fukutaichou, I'm afraid this is vastly different from your last gigai. Since your stay is short-term, it's more or less a... silhouette. Only purposes being harboring your soul, and suppressing your powers. Since it's a ceremony with so many powered folks packed together, we're trying this to avoid hollow attacks."

"Aye," Momo replied, nodding.

"Yours is similar, Hitsugaya."

Toushirou frowned. "It's Hitsugaya-taichou," he corrected Kisuke. Kisuke merely chuckled. He probably blamed Toushirou for Karin's suicide as well. Like he'd talk her into something so traumatic. Asshole.

"Yes... yours is similar, of course, except for... well, deadened nerves. Kurosaki Yuzu is livid."

"Fuck me..." he grumbled.

"I'd rather not, but I'd be prepared for a slap or two. Hopefully, she leaves the nether region alone, but if not, it is equally as dead."

"Thanks for the heads up," Toushirou said. "Where is Karin?"

"The temple, with Kurosaki Ichigo. He's kept a tight leash on her since the... the..." Kisuke couldn't finish. He looked like he was about to cry.

"Thank you," Toushirou said. As much as he hated Kisuke, Toushirou knew Kisuke was fond of Karin, perhaps as fond as his children were.

"Well, I will see you two there... I have to get ready for the memorial service."

"Thank you, Urahara-san. Take care."

He and Momo stepped into their gigai, prepped with black kimono, although Momo's hem and sleeves were adorned with flowers. Lilies and marigolds. How appropriate.

"You remembered the envelope?"

"Of course," Momo replied, straightening her collar. "The car is waiting. Shall we?"

"Aye."

On the drive over, Momo lit her pipe. Toushirou was never particularly fond of tobacco, or how his sister's habit ruined her skin, but given what was to come, he could sure use a puff. Or a drink.

Maybe he should've brought Rangiku... She didn't cope much better during funerals, but she, at least, would have something that she was willing to share to take off the edge. Very much unlike Momo. The only thing she ever really shared with him was conversation. Practically force-fed him, refrained from sharing the shit he cared about.

They came to a stop before the temple. Many were filing in. Toushirou recognized a few. Uryuu arrived just before them, Hiyori loitered in the doorway. Many he didn't recognize.

Jinta and Ururu were there with their other father Tessai. They bowed in unison.

"Yuzu is livid," Ururu said.

"So Urahara told us."

"I stand by her."

Tessai knocked Ururu upside her head. "Enough, honey," he warned, then turned to Toushirou and Momo. "Thank you for coming. Karin-chan will be pleased."

"I imagine," Momo replied, still smoking. "What should we expect from Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"We're keeping him in line if Yuzu doesn't," Jinta replied. "He agreed to keep the peace when Tou-tou and he talked."

"And the Kurosaki girl?" Momo asked. 

"Yuzu?"

"Nay, the one we're here for."

Ururu looked inside. "She's... not crying. I think she's distancing herself from this ordeal."

"Perhaps it's for the better."

Tessai said, "Hand-off will occur before cremation. Kurosaki Isshin only agreed to allow us in for the service since Karin asked, but the burial is for family and Kurosaki Ichigo's close friends only."

"I see Kuchiki-fukutaichou as well."

"She won't be causing trouble. She's here as a family friend."

Toushirou and Momo bowed again. "Many thanks," Toushirou said. "We'll head in."

Rukia was the first to spot them. She strode over. "Neither of you are welcome. Please leave before Yuzu sees you."

"The deceased requested us, and the patriarch has permitted us entry," he replied. Everyone was so fucking hostile...

"No matter. Do you want to start shit?" she hissed.

Momo said, "We haven't started anything, Kuchiki-fukutaichou. Besides... do you think it wise to start shit here? Our powers are merely dampened, but I know for a fact there are enough of us gathered here to alert trouble if contention brews."

Before Rukia could reply, Yuzu stormed over. Rukia quickly escaped.

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Your father said we were welcomed to the ceremony," he said.

She jabbed a finger against his chest. "You may as well have murdered my sister! I don't want you here!"

Toushirou sighed. "And I do?"

"And who is this skank?" Yuzu hissed, jerking her chin to Momo.

"My sister." Toushirou frowned. "Don't treat her like my mistress."

Momo encased Yuzu's hands. "We are here to grieve just as ye. I understand how difficult this is. My husband passed during a tumultuous time... We hadn't time to bury him, either."

Toushirou almost rolled his eyes. Momo learned how to lie from the best. But it worked. Yuzu relaxed.

"I'm sorry. It's been... it's been a long couple of days."

"There's nothing to apologize for, Kurosaki-san." Momo bowed. "If you need anything, please let me know. I haven't service at home, but Urahara-san can reach me if needed."

"Thank you."

"May we take a seat?"

"In the back, please. The front rows are taken."

"Aye. Thank you again, Kurosaki-san."

Momo and Toushirou took a seat. Because of their gigai suppressing their powers, Toushirou was unable to see Karin, although knew she was there. There were too many people of strong reiatsu concentrated in the temple. It risked a hollow attack. The dampening was meant as a security measure.

The Seireitei owed Ichigo too much to go against a small favor, however cruel it was to Karin.

"I can see why Kurosaki-san is so upset," Momo said.

"Karin was in pain," he insisted.

"I'm in no position to judge her," Momo reminded Toushirou. "But look at the Kurosaki family... Stiff as boards. The little one is the only one weeping, and neither of them is consoling her."

"They're... dysfunctional. I'm sure she refused it."

"For good reason?"

"Aye. They... nay, we all, have lied to her for years. I'm sure she harbors conflicting feelings."

Momo hummed. "Aye."

Toushirou took a good look at the altar, surrounded by white lilies. He frowned. White was never Karin's color. Blacks, reds... Hydrangeas or marigolds would've been more appropriate.

But she was beautiful in her photo. Smiling, youthful. It made him mad too. She was happy with him. With Jinta and Ururu, not some sad, doctored school photo.

Thankfully, Momo didn't seem to pick up on his internal tantrum, merely smoked.

The time came for the service. A priest stepped up and uttered a sutra. Toushirou admittedly zoned out during it. None of it concerned them. What did was Karin. She was in there, but he was unable to console her, take her to her new home, to ease her pain... It was bullshit. Complete bullshit.

Once the service came to an end, Toushirou and Momo quickly escaped, joining Kisuke outside.

"I don't have much time... I'm going to the cremation as well," he said.

They wordlessly stepped out of their gigai. They were tucked into the back of a van and covered with a shimmery sheet that made them completely vanish. Momo and he bowed.

"Best of, Urahara-san."

"Kurosaki will meet you by the aqueduct under an overpass. It's in the center of town," he explained. "Anticipate some... some shit from him too. He's very upset."

"Thanks."

With that as their goodbye, they sped off to the heart of Karakura. Toushirou saw Ichigo's hair from the sky, and they sunk to the ground.

The second Toushirou saw Ichigo, he wanted to strangle him. It felt like they were sizing each other up. Toushirou was sure to lose an arm, but it would've been satisfying clocking him.

Karin was sitting on a bench. There was still a generous amount of chain leftover, thankfully. Toushirou just hoped she hadn't experienced the chain consuming itself... the immense pain.

Toushirou couldn't bring himself to bow to Ichigo, but Momo did. "Thank you for allowing us into your sister's service, Kurosaki-sama."

"It wasn't my choice."

"Nonetheless," Momo said, smiling. "I'd like this to be done in an as expeditious manner as possible."

Karin hopped to her feet. Toushirou instantly wanted to sweep her off her feet and carry her like his bride into the other world, away from that mess. That nightmare. "Let's go," she said.

"Hang on." Ichigo stopped her with his arm out shooting. His eyes bore into Toushirou's, and he glared back. "I want him to admit his fault in this."

"Jesus Christ!" Karin shrieked. "I killed myself because there's nothing for me here! Toushirou had nothing to fucking do with it."

"Bullshit! He had to have said something."

"It's your fault I killed myself, alright? It's all your fault! I got tired of getting steamrolled and gaslit by you so I killed myself to get the hell away from you!" Karin ducked his arm and ran over to Toushirou. He happily accepted her embrace. "I'm going to the Seireitei. I'm becoming a shinigami... It's the only way I'll be happy. Fulfilled."

Ichigo looked hurt. Crying. Toushirou turned away, opening the senkaimon into the other side.

He had no idea what awaited them in the future. He hoped, at least, Karin's suffering eased.


	2. The death and pony show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Momo joins Karin's funeral with Toushirou.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note Momo's perspective is extremely biased against men due to her history with Aizen.

Momo laid awake the night before the Kurosaki girl's memorial.

She and Toushirou had a long history of neglecting to share personal details. Privacy, embarrassment, bridges her ex Sousuke burned gleefully. But for him to ask her to attend his girlfriend's wake was quite serious, if he came to her of all people.

Momow as never good in those situations.

Izuru squeezed her hand. "Are you finished speaking with Urahara?"

"Aye. He's arranging mine and Shirou-chan's gigai... I sent him my kimono."

Izuru nodded. "Renji wants you to come to bed."

Momo gazed into Izuru's eyes. Blue. Dried from undeath. She half expected to see flies crawling across him in the mornings. It never happened, but she always worried.

"Is this a tragedy?" she asked Izuru.

"What?"

"The Kurosaki girl's death."

Izuru shrugged. "I can't say. We all expire eventually. She sooner than, I assume, at least, her family would've liked." He stroked her knuckles. "Overthinking it gets us nowhere. We've made the arrangements, she'll be here soon enough... Now come to bed? Please?"

She smiled at Izuru. "Of course."

Momo slipped into bed with Izuru and her other spouses. She coiled against Shuuhei's back, throwing an arm over his hip.

\---

She and Toushirou met in the morning at the senkaimon and were checked out by the guardians before passing through. Momo hated being stroked and prodded by strangers. It made her feel like a slab of rotting meat.

She met Kisuke with Toushirou and easily slipped on her gigai and then entered the car outside.

How awkward it was, sitting with her brother. Tense. They were on good terms and had been for years by that point. But he was upset. She could feel it. See it in the way he folded his arms and slumped. She wanted to say he'd muss his kimono, require his hair to be combed, but held her tongue and smoked instead.

Toushirou was going through enough. While agreeing to take Karin on as her charge was anxiety-inducing, it was his girlfriend's funeral. Even if she wasn't lost to Toushirou forever, it had to be traumatic.

Momo tried to dispel the image of Sousuke's body hanging from the east wall. It was only a doll. An illusion. A lie.

She chanted that until they came to the temple.

Climbing out, she smoothed her kimono. Toushirou guided her to a trio waiting in the doorway. They seemed to be familiar to him.

A young woman said, "Yuzu is livid.

"So Urahara told us," Toushirou replied.

The young woman glared at him. "I stand by her."

The giant, who she assumed was another guardian, slapped the young woman upside her head. She tenderly rubbed her scalp. "Enough, honey," he said. He then turned to her and Toushirou. "Thank you for coming. Karin-chan will be pleased."

Karin-chan. A nickname that told a story of fondness, adoration, family. That was so adorable, it almost brought a smile to Momo's face. She had a good feeling about Karin.

She managed to keep her poker face, however. She said. "I imagine. What should we expect from Kurosaki Ichigo?"

"We're keeping him in line if Yuzu doesn't," the boy replied, folding his arms. "He agreed to keep the peace when Tou-tou and he talked."

"And the Kurosaki girl?"

"Yuzu?"

"Nay, the one we're here for." Momo got it. Look out for Yuzu...

The young woman glanced into the temple interior. "She's... not crying. I think she's distancing herself from this ordeal."

Momo ashed her pipe. "Perhaps it's for the better." The young woman gave her a weird look which Momo didn't care to return. Having to watch one's funeral procession was fucking insanity. Izuru was unstable even on the best of days. That day had to be the most traumatic. Better to process it down the line.

The children's father said, "Hand-off will occur before cremation. Kurosaki Isshin only agreed to allow us in for the service since Karin asked, but the burial is for family and Kurosaki Ichigo's close friends only."

Momo refrained from asking about Karin's friends. She didn't want to mess around with that.

She took a look inside the temple instead. There were many faces she didn't recognize, but she did recognize Rukia, and said, "I see Kuchiki-fukutaichou as well.",

"She won't be causing trouble. She's here as a family friend," the children's father replied.

Momo had gotten everything she wanted out of that. She and Toushirou bowed.

"Many thanks. We'll head in," Toushirou said.

As soon as they crossed the threshold, Rukia spotted them and practically stormed over. Momo groaned. So much for not causing trouble. She already knew this service was about to be a minefield of bullshit.

"Neither of you are welcome," Rukia said, hands folded in front of her belly. "Please leave before Yuzu sees you."

"The deceased requested us, and the patriarch has permitted us entry," Toushirou replied. 

"No matter. Do you want to start shit?"

There was an edge to their voices that alerted Momo it was her turn to step in before a fight erupted. At least she was good at reminding people of their places. God knew she had to put her foot down following Sousuke's desertion. She had a meltdown, she wasn't transformed into a doormat.

"We haven't started anything, Kuchiki-fukutaichou. Besides... do you think it wise to start shit here? Our powers are merely dampened, but I know for a fact there are enough of us gathered here to alert trouble if contention brews," Momo said, before taking a long drag from her pipe.

Rukia was silenced by a youthful blonde rushing over, pink in the face and nostrils flaring. Momo wasn't a gambler, but she'd bet that was Yuzu, judging by how Rukia ran like she was dodging a raging ox.

Yuzu got right in Toushirou's face. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

He repeated, "Your father said we were welcomed to the ceremony."

Momo's first instinct was to snap Yuzu's neck as soon as her finger jabbed Toushirou's chest. 'You murdered my sister!" Yuzu accused with such venom, Momo watched for it to pour out the sides of her mouth. "I don't want you here!"

"And I do?" Toushirou said, sighing.

"And who is this skank?" Yuzu asked, jerking her chin at Momo.

"My sister. Don't treat her like my mistress."

Momo kept her temper in check, reminding herself of how she reacted to Sousuke's death. Was being called a skank worse than trying to assassinate your family? Nay.

But it was tempting to break Yuzu's teeth. Skank... As if.

Before it escalated, Momo summoned her will to kindly cusp Yuzu's hands. "We are here to grieve just as ye. I understand how difficult this is. My husband passed during a tumultuous time," she said. Her eyes watered, again recalling the image of Sousuke pinned the East wall. "We hadn't time to bury him, either."

Yuzu seemed to diffuse. She looked at her socks. "I'm sorry," she croaked. "It's been a long couple of days."

"There's nothing to apologize for." Momo smiled and bowed to Yuzu. Yuzu returned the gesture. "If you need anything, please let me know. I haven't service at home, but Urahara-san can reach me if needed."

Yuzu's gratitude seemed genuine, at least.

"May we take a seat?" Momo asked.

Yuzu gestured to the last rows. "In the back, please. The front rows are taken.',

"Aye. Thank you again, Kurosaki-san."

Momo sat, crossed her legs, and surveyed the room. It was strange being unable to see spirits. For the better, undoubtedly. But she wanted to size up Karin in person there too. Evaluate how best to break the ice with someone who just took their own damn life.

But, by God, it was a fucking circus there. Ichigo and the man who seemed to be their father were distanced far from Yuzu despite sitting together. Ichigo's legs were pointed away from Yuzu, repelled by an unknown force. He was practically pushing Orihime out of her seat. The father was statuesque. Completely still unless approached. Seeming to collapse in on himself.

So much for a family. As dysfunctional as Momo's own. 

"I can see why Kurosaki-san is so upset," Momo announced.

Toushirou grumpily responded with, "Karin was in pain."

"I'm in no position to judge her," Momo reminded Toushirou. "But look at the Kurosaki family... Stiff as boards. The little one is the only one weeping, and neither of them is consoling her."

"They're... dysfunctional. I'm sure she refused it."

"For good reason?" Momo asked.

"Aye. They... nay, we all, have lied to her for years. I'm sure she harbors conflicting feelings."

Momo hummed. "Aye." A fucking disaster indeed. No wonder why Karin sought to escape into the Seireitei. After Sousuke deserted, Momo wanted to run away too. Far away. Someplace her pain couldn't reach her.

Karin was in for a fucking surprise, she thought as she took a puff of smoke from her pipe. Years later, and even married thrice over, Momo still ached over her ex's betrayal. Over the pain he caused her over the decades she served and adored him. That pain never went away. She doubted Karin would be an exception.

The priest began the service with a sutra. Momo took note of the crowd. The family, friends, Toushirou. Kisuke and his people seemed surprisingly invested in Karin, judging by their weeping and clinging to one another in the center rows. Were they Karin's only friends? Was everyone else there to console the family instead of grieving?

It saddened Momo. It was no wonder why Karin took her own life, with so little tying her to the World of the Living.

And Momo knew how lonely it was. Having so few people who cared about her following Sousuke's desertion. Karin must've felt so isolated.

Following the service, Momo guided Toushirou outside. They waited in silence behind Kisuke's van to trade off their gigai. When he arrived, his eyes were pink like he'd been crying.

"I don't have much time... I'm going to the cremation as well," he said.

Momo wondered how to respond as she removed herself from her gigai. What was she supposed to say in response to someone close to the deceased having to pick the bones out of ashes? It was heart-breaking.

Momo and Toushirou bowed to Kisuke. "Best of, Urahara-san," Momo said. How meaningless...

Kisuke merely said, "Kurosaki will meet you by the aqueduct under an overpass. It's in the center of town." He frowned. "Anticipate some... some shit from him too. He's very upset."

"Thanks," Toushirou said.

Momo and he hopped into the sky. He guided her to the center of Karakura, being more familiar with its layout than she. Thankfully, Ichigo was easily seen from the sky. They landed a good distance away.

Momo saw Toushirou's fists curl out of the corner of her eye. Rage. She knew it well. 

The girl who must've been Karin sat on a bench. Dark hair framed her face, a soul chain hung from her chest. Momo hoped she hadn't felt it consume itself. The agony would've been unbearable.

What a cruel fate to be made to stick around, with so much at stake. Momo decided she hated Ichigo.

Before Toushirou could lash out, Momo said, "Thank you for allowing us into your sister's service, Kurosaki-sama." Butter him up. Get out of there as soon as possible.

Ichigo folded his arms. "It wasn't my choice."

She smiled. "Nonetheless. I'd like this to be done in an expeditious manner as possible."

Karin stood and began to walk over to them. "Let's go," she said, eyes locked on Toushirou.

Ichigo stopped her. "Hang on." He was glaring at Toushirou. Just in case, she manifested snakes in her sleeves to bind Ichigo if he lashed out. "I want him to admit his fault in this."

"Jesus Christ!" Karin shrieked. "I killed myself because there's nothing for me here! Toushirou had nothing to fucking do with it."

"Bullshit! He had to have said something."

"It's your fault I killed myself, alright? It's all your fault! I got tired of getting steamrolled and gaslit by you so I killed myself to get the hell away from you!" Karin ducked his arm and ran over to Toushirou. He seemed elated she ran to him, clung to him. "I'm going to the Seireitei. I'm becoming a shinigami... It's the only way I'll be happy. Fulfilled."

Ichigo seemed wounded. Good riddance. As far as Momo was concerned, he was a complete ass, no better than manipulative scum. Men made themselves so loathsome.

More importantly, Karin was damaged. Just as Momo was. She resolved to take care of her new charge as a sister, as family, as a protege.


	3. The bitter fruit harvested

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ururu is having trouble coming to terms with Karin's passing.

  
Ururu was hurt. Confused. With a maelstrom of emotions she couldn't make sense of.

She envied, a little, her brother's nonchalance surrounding the issue. "This was a long time in the making," he said. "She'll have a blast there."

He was right, of course. The only time Ururu saw Karin happy was when she was pummeling hollows. Monster-hunting coursed through Karin's veins like vitae. 

But Ururu was still hurt. Was there something they could've done to better fulfill Karin in the World of the Living? Was Karin leaving because she and Jinta weren't good enough friends? Was she leaving because she preferred Toushirou over them?

When Ururu emerged from her room, dressed in a frilled pencil shirt and blazer, both black, of course, her father Tessai instantly recognized her turmoil. He swept her into a hug. Ururu gripped his shirt and tried not to cry.

"It's okay," he said, kissing her head. "Let it out, baby."

"I hate Karin," Ururu said. She didn't, of course. But she was still pretty damn upset.

"She didn't do it to hurt you... She was just hurting."

"It's not fair," Ururu insisted. "Yuzu's gonna hate me."

Tessai rocked her. "You guys will make it through this, honey. Yuzu has every right to be upset, but I'm sure she'll realize our intentions were for her wellbeing, however poorly it was executed."

"I hate this. All of it. It hurts and it's so fucking unfair" Ururu nuzzled Tessai's chest. He hushed her, never fond of potty mouths.

"It's okay, honey. We'll be okay."

"Where's Daddy?" she sniffed.

"Taking care of some last-minute business. Grab your brother. We need to go."

Ururu pulled away from Tessai. She met Jinta outside his room. Immediately, he hugged her. "You look like shit."

"Thanks?' Ururu crumpled her face. Was that meant to be sympathetic? "Papa says it's time to go. Are you ready?"

Jinta smoothed his dress shirt. "Does it look good? It was bunched at the bottom of my closet."

"I don't think Karin gives a shit."

He grinned. "Fair enough."

Ururu and Jinta climbed into a van with Tessai, packed in like sardines. Thankfully it was a short drive to the temple. About ten minutes later, they parked across the street and climbed out. Jinta stretched.

"I'm gonna find Yuzu," Ururu announced.

"Survey the area meanwhile. Your father says this will be a sensitive wake."

Ururu nodded. Judging by Ichigo's reaction to their friendship with Karin a couple of years ago, and almost a lifetime of tricking Yuzu, she could take a gander at what was so sensitive. Emotions were running high, too. Ururu wasn't an empath but even she picked up on the tension.

She strode inside. Yuzu glowered at her as she approached.

Ururu stood before her. Yuzu wasn't very beautiful that way, mouth twisted into a frown of grief and anger. Brows pushed together.

She told Yuzu, "Given the option, I would've told you much sooner."

"I know," Yuzu grumbled. "I know it's Isshin and Ichigo's fault." Her lip curled in disgust. "I'm just so... so mad at them, Ururu."

"I'm... I'm feeling a lot of things."

"Come to the cremation?" Yuzu said. Her lip stuck out. Croaked with desperation, desperation enough to grab her hand. "I think you're the only one I trust anymore. I... I can't even look at my family anymore. I need you with me."

Ururu was just grateful to be needed. She smiled. "Of course."

Yuzu sniffed, bowing her head. "... is Karin here?'

"Yeah," she said, looking in the back corner. Ichigo was there too. They looked like they were talking under their breath. Ichigo was probably making an ass of himself as usual, and it made Ururu want to run over and kick him in the nuts. "She's with your brother."

Yuzu hummed. "Can you tell Ichigo we're about to begin, then? I... I don't wanna talk to him. I'll show you your guys' seat when you're back." 

"Of course."

Ururu steeled her nerves then walked over to Ichigo and Karin. Coolly, she said to Ichigo, "Yuzu says we'll be starting soon, and asks you to take a seat."

"I'm almost finished here."

Karin gave Ururu a pleading glance which she ignored. She wasn't ready to face Karin yet. But she'd get Karin out of the pickle she was in nonetheless.

"The immediate family needs to be in place. Please don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be. This is a trying enough occasion."

He frowned. Ichigo's Achilles heel, his family, was easily exploited. "Alright." He turned to Karin. "We're not done here."

She sneered. "We are now."

Ichigo tucked his hands into the pockets of his blazer and walked off. Ururu met Karin's for a moment. No sneers, or smirks, or jabs. No words or exchanges.

Karin looked to her feet, something dying in her throat like a final breath. Like her words were malignant tumors. Ururu's chest tightened. Squeezing her as she laid beneath boulders.

It wasn't like Ururu didn't want to say something to Karin. They were best fucking friends. Spent almost every day together last five years. There were years of love and drama and bloodshed between them, a covenant, not even death could break. And that was why it hurt so much. Would Ururu see Karin before her expiration? And god, was she so betrayed by that.

Betrayed because Karin was still her sister.

She said, "I love you."

Karin nodded. Her voice died again before she could reply.

Tessai waved her over. Before heading over, Ururu glanced to Yuzu and nodded to her dad. She nodded and held up her hands. Ten minutes before the procession. She nodded.

When Ururu met Tessai by the door, she saw Toushirou climb out of a tinted car with the company of a beautiful woman in a beautiful kimono.

Hinamori Momo was a lot prettier in person than the pictures Kisuke had in his office. She looked older in those. Like she weathered decades of sandstorms and scurvy. But her gigai looked like a movie star. Stunning, with a halo of dark hair and dark eyelashes. The flowers on her kimono were gorgeous too. How much money had she blown on a stranger's funeral?

When they were met by Toushirou and Momo, they all bowed to one another.

She looked to Toushirou. "Yuzu is livid."

"So Urahara told us," he grumbled in response.

"I stand by her."

Tessai wasted no time smacking her. Ururu groaned. Worth it. "Enough, honey," he said, before addressing Toushirou and Momo.

Tessai knocked Ururu upside her head. "Enough, honey," he warned, then turned to Toushirou and Momo. "Thank you for coming. Karin-chan will be pleased."

"I imagine," Momo replied. She took a puff from her pipe. "What should we expect from Kurosaki Ichigo?"

Jinta told them, "We're keeping him in line if Yuzu doesn't. He agreed to keep the peace when Tou-tou and he talked."

"And the Kurosaki girl?"

"Yuzu?"

"Nay, the one we're here for."

When Ururu looked inside, Karin was still in the corner. "She's... not crying," she told them. "I think she's distancing herself from this ordeal." It was hard on everybody. But knowing how hard the last couple of years were on Karin, she came to terms with it being hardest on Karin.

Momo said, sighing tobacco smoke, "Perhaps it's for the better."

"Hand-off will occur before cremation. Kurosaki Isshin only agreed to allow us in for the service since Karin asked, but the burial is for family and Kurosaki Ichigo's close friends only," Tessai informed them.

Momo turned her gaze inside. "I see Kuchiki-fukutaichou as well."

"She won't be causing trouble. She's here as a family friend."

Toushirou and Momo bowed again. "Many thanks," Toushirou said. "We'll head in."

They returned the bow before following them inside. Yuzu pointed to their chairs in the front row, where Kisuke was sitting. They took a seat with their father. 

Jinta was watching Toushirou and Momo. "Jesus, they're getting the third degree."

"It's an understandably difficult time for everyone. It makes sense for people to lash out," Kisuke said.

"It's stupid." Jinta snorted. "So fucking narrow-minded." He ducked a swipe from Tessai, although fruitless. "Ow. All I'm saying is, this was a long time coming... Karin's soul chain is broken anyway. We may as well make the most of it."

"Hopefully, Karin does, at least," Ururu mumbled.

Kisuke's arms settled over her shoulders. She leaned against her dad. "Me too," he said.


	4. Nailing the coffin shut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kisuke readies himself for a maelstrom.

Tessai and Kisuke sat together. Across from them was Isshin, nurturing a cup of tea. He was crying softly for almost an hour, and the most Kisuke could do was hold his hand. He felt so useless in the aftermath of Karin's suicide. So... so...

At four o'clock in the morning, it was unusually early for them to be up, but he assumed Isshin was awake most of, if not all, night.

Isshin said, "This is a fucking disaster," he rasped. He rubbed his eyes with his palms.

"They're children," Kisuke said. "They'll understand down the line."

He leaned on his hand, staring into the distance. "I don't think Yuzu will speak to me ever again." He shook his head. Tears rolled off his face and onto the varnish. "A fucking disaster."

Kisuke passed Isshin a packet of smokes. He gratefully took them and lit a cigarette. The three gentlemen shared a smoke.

"I'm... I don't know how to fix this."

"We're past fixing," Tessai said, with the utmost sympathy. "Now... now it's just damage control. Repairing your relationship with Yuzu. Giving Karin your best."

Tessai was right, of course. He was always better with sensitive issues. Somehow pulled tough love off better than he, without coming off like a complete fucking ass.

"Will they even hear me out?"

"Maybe. Hopefully."

Kisuke said, "I can try talking to Karin. I don't think I have the rapport with Yuzu, however." Kisuke wasn't about to use Ururu as a pawn in their melodrama either. She was distraught enough.

"No. No," Isshin said. "No. I've done enough damage. Anything I say will only worsen this."

Kisuke took a long drag. He didn't envy Isshin's position. Never again seeing one of his children, his only other daughter hurt and betrayed.

He understood why Isshin never told them. It was something so complicated, so isolating. Painful. How was anyone supposed to explain that? Hey kids, your mother was murdered by monsters because y'all got superpowers! You can't tell anyone though. You'll be checked into a fucking mental hospital because you weren't enough of a freak!

Was it effective? No. But it was a sticky situation. Sticky as the hogyoku. Sticky as Aizen.

Kisuke took a long drag from his cigarette, almost finished with it. He'd light another, as many as Isshin needed.

"She's a bright girl, that Karin," Tessai said, extinguishing his cigarette in an ashtray. Once, the crystal was pristine. It was covered in a thick layer of yellow residue. Never once washed in fifty-some-odd years. A disgusting dish.

It reminded him of the last century. Messy. Little things forwent. Even the little things. Important things, but so small, so easily overlooked, so easily overshadowed by things much bigger than they.

Kisuke lit a new cigarette as Tessai continued. "She knows what she wants. How to get there. This was the avenue she saw most expeditious. I'm sure she still regards you all fondly."

He shook his head. "That's the thing, she hates us all. They all hate each other now." Isshin wiped his face with his thumb. "Karin's always hated me. Now Yuzu does too because I kept this secret for so long. Ichigo may come to hate me too for all this... They may never speak to me again."

Kisuke shifted uncomfortably. How heartbreaking, watching his children washed away in grief. He wished he knew what to do beyond hugging Isshin. What would that fix, though?

Were the Kurosaki cursed by dysfunction and misfortune? Were they cursed to watch?

Tessai, at least, seemed prepared. "It's true. This is a disaster. But as was your loss of powers. And you made it through that." He held Isshin's hand, rocking it. "Your children are of the resilient ilk. Green and adaptive. They will mend. Grow. Their roots will rejoin yours."

Isshin nodded. He held Tessai's hand in both of his, nodding, sobbing.

"I should go home," he panted.

"Stay as long as you need," Kisuke reminded him.

"Thank you... but my daughter..."

"We understand. We'll see you in a couple of hours, Isshin. Take care."

Isshin let himself out. Kisuke mulled with Tessai, clasping hands on top of the table.

"I wish they allowed Karin-chan to stay with us for the night," Tessai said.

"Aye," Kisuke agreed quietly. "Already so much tension... and it only just broke, in a spectacular fashion, with decades of consequences, and decades of exposition." His eyes unfocused as he stared at the wall. "I've provided inadequate service to the Kurosaki, despite everything they've given, everything that's been taken."

"Not at all. This was a long time in the making, Kisuke." He smiled sadly. "Karin-chan will be dearly missed. She was witty. A borne shinigami."

"Is that all you feel about this?"

Tessai responded, "What's done is done, just as I told Isshin. I'm sad to see Karin go, but she made a decision she thought would get her where she wanted to be in life, as painful as it was for all of us here."

"Aye," Kisuke said. He leaned his head against Tessai's shoulder. "Kurosaki Ichigo must be beating himself up... despite his recent comportion."

Tessai stroked Kisuke's hair. "He's certainly taken a paternal stance. Wrongfully so... he's only a boy."

"Indeed."

"I worry most about Kurosaki Yuzu."

"She's one of the biggest victims in this. Although, I understand why they did what they did."

"Still, being deceived by your kin... I can't imagine how jaded she must be. It's one thing when it's a colleague, but an entirely different ballpark when it comes to your loved ones." Tessai frowned. His fingers caught on a tangle. "I hope Kurosaki Yuzu still speaks to Ururu after this."

"Me as well. She may not have anyone, otherwise." That was the most tragic of anything that happened to that family. Even in death, in hollowfication, in battle, Ichigo was never alone, with an army of allies and friends behind him. Karin had many as well. Them, their children, and a Gotei captain of all people. Soon to be more, once her residence in the Seireitei was sorted out if she was anything like her brother. Even Isshin had friends. But Yuzu was that gray area. Too sensitive for the general population, not enough for her family's circle.

Was it all Kisuke's fault? Should he have culled Isshin's gigai from the beginning?

What would have become of Aizen, however?

Tessai kissed Kisuke's head. Drawn from his thoughts, Kisuke smiled at his husband. "You're so sensitive to people," he complimented.

"Just kind, love."

"Far kinder than I."

"Everyone has their merits and shortcomings, my love."

Kisuke sat up. "Aye... Although, speaking of, I need to complete Hinamori's gigai. The last one I completed looked like onibaba."

"Not something I imagine she'd appreciate."

"Most definitely not."

Kisuke pressed a kiss against Tessai's head before retreating to his workshop. Momo's gigai was propped up by a metal tee, slumped as if she was sleeping. It was a temporary model, a meat suit. One would expect it wouldn't matter how together it appeared. But Hinamori could be quite vain, as Kisuke recalled her visit years ago.

So he sat with a photo reference of Momo above the gigai. Made her Barbie suit perky and tight, with red lips and thick lashes, high cheekbones. Her hair was dark and smooth, cascaded down her back. And her nails, painted with a black veneer.

He smoothed her jawline and straightened her lips. She was looking like a masterpiece. Work with a spot in the Lourve.

Kisuke never regarded himself as particularly artistic, even a perfectionist. But sometimes he couldn't help but marvel at his creations. How lifelike they were, yet with no living soul. Especially given his tools: a grainy photo and memory. Mayuri had the means to give Kisuke an exact facsimile but hated Kisuke too much to cooperate. At least it resulted in Kisuke's favor.

Although, they weren't so different. Kisuke marveled at the destruction he could create, just like Mayuri. The Hogyoku, namely. He was certain artists never had such follies. But monsters? Almost certainly!

Sunrise came. Toushirou and Momo arrived.

He looked stressed. She looked withdrawn. Curious, too.

He wondered how Toushirou felt about Karin leaving the World of the Living. Happy to have her all to himself, Kisuke was sure. Toushirou was an egocentric boy. Sure, he adored Karin, but he was still a rude little shit, with only raw talent to his name, and an undeserved sense of accomplishment wherever he swaggered in.

It was amazing Karin saw anything in him beyond that. Or was it less about him, and more about where he hailed from? She did kill herself to become a shinigami, after all.

After welcoming them inside, Kisuke showed Momo her gigai. "Hinamori-fukutaichou, I'm afraid this is vastly different from your last gigai. Since your stay is short-term, it's more or less a... silhouette. Only purposes being harboring your soul, and suppressing your powers. Since it's a ceremony with so many powered folks packed together, we're trying this to avoid hollow attacks."

She nodded, seeming pleased with it. "Aye."

Kisuke looked to Toushirou. "Yours is similar, Hitsugaya." He couldn't bring himself to call him by his title.

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou," Toushirou grumbled. 

He almost shrugged it off. "Yes... yours is similar, of course, except for... well, deadened nerves. Kurosaki Yuzu is livid." Livid enough to put holes through walls, to rip Toushirou's scrotum off with her bare hands.

As much as Kisuke disliked Toushirou, he still had a business to run.

"Fuck me..."

Kisuke chuckled. "I'd rather not, but I'd be prepared for a slap or two. Hopefully, she leaves the nether region alone, but if not, it is equally as dead.

"Thanks for the heads up," Toushirou said. "Where is Karin?"

"The temple, with Kurosaki Ichigo. He's kept a tight leash on her since the... the..." Since she drowned herself in the river. Kisuke couldn't bring himself to say it. He was feeling so erratic. Far from his first funeral, but children always made it so much harder.

Sometimes he wished he could turn it off. But he'd be no better than a monster.

Toushirou seemed sympathetic, at least. "Thank you," he said.

He nodded. "I'll see you two there... I have to get ready for the memorial service."

"Thank you, Urahara-san. Take care."

By the time Kisuke finished with them and getting ready himself, Tessai and their children had left for the memorial. No matter. He called a cab. Upon arrival, he met Isshin, hugging him.

"Thank you for coming," Isshin sniffed. "Ichigo's been awful to Karin. I don't know what to do about it... he won't listen to me." He nodded to the back corner of the room where Ichigo stood with Karin. It looked like they were talking under their breath, but Kisuke couldn't make out what they were saying over the background noise. It looked like a tense conversation, however, judging by their twisted brows.

"I'll talk to him," Kisuke said. He wasn't keen on the upcoming conversation, but ultimately, Ichigo was still a boy, hadn't graduated from that desperate hero complex.

Kisuke could appeal to his goodness, maybe.

"Hey there," he said, standing with the Kurosaki children. "How're you guys holding up?" Judging by Karin's pink eyes and Ichigo's thin frown, not well.

"My sister killed herself, so not well."

"I'm right fucking here, asshole."

"I know it's a stressful time for both of you, but I hope you remember how much you love each other." While speaking, Kisuke watched Ichigo, smiling meanwhile.

"That's never been enough for her..." Ichigo mumbled.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here! Everyone here knows about ghosts to some extent, there's no point in trynna be discreet! You're just ignoring me when you're not telling me what to do."

Ichigo folded his arms. "She's been like this for days." Kisuke refrained from snorting. He didn't blame Karin. He was pretty unbearable when it came to familial issues. Overbearing. Unyielding.

He hugged them. Despite their problems, he adored them both. "Let's be kind for now. You're family. We're family. We'll get through this."

Ichigo pat Kisuke's back. "Thanks," he said.

Kisuke retreated to his seat. Soon after, Tessai and their children joined him. Jinta watched Toushirou and Momo be grilled by Rukia, and then Yuzu.

Kisuke hummed. "It's an understandably difficult time for everyone. It makes sense for people to lash out."

"It's stupid." Jinta snorted. "So fucking narrow-minded." He ducked a swipe from Tessai, although fruitless. "Ow. All I'm saying is, this was a long time coming... Karin's soul chain is broken anyway. We may as well make the most of it."

"Hopefully, Karin does, at least," Ururu mumbled. Kisuke hugged Ururu with one arm. He wished he could ease her turmoil.

The service began and ended. Kisuke excused himself and jogged out to the car to meet Momo and Toushirou. They arrived, and once they were within earshot, he said, "I don't have much time... I'm going to the cremation as well."

Toushirou and Momo removed their gigai and Kisuke stored them in the back of the van with an enchanted sheet to hide them. They then bowed.

Momo said, "Best of, Urahara-san."

He nodded. "Kurosaki will meet you by the aqueduct under an overpass. It's in the center of town," he explained. "Anticipate some... some shit from him too. He's very upset."

"Thanks."

They left, Kisuke sighed, and leaned against the van.

Death was always so taxing.


	5. Now the blind may see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuzu struggles with anger and pain over Karin's death.

Yuzu never felt more isolated in her life before Karin killed herself. Nevermore betrayed by people who swore to love and protect her.

How many lies had Yuzu been fed over the years? Why did they lie to her? How come she seemed so fragile to them.

All Yuzu was certain of was that shinigami fucked them over, and she, under no uncertain circumstances, would forgive them for the carnage they wrought on her family and her life. Yuzu was not a doormat. She would not be treated as one.

She refused to travel with the family who deceived her. She, instead, would walk to the temple.

It was like she was breathing in winter air with every step. Stinging her lungs mercilessly. It wasn't even cold that day. Yuzu was in so much pain over the last couple of days, it was unbearable to just breathe.

Yuzu came to the temple and was met by a priest. She bowed to them, and they bowed back.

"My family will be here soon," she told them. "I left before them to ensure everything is in place." A blatant lie, but Yuzu didn't want to advertise their family's problems to strangers, however, enlightened or used to playing therapist they may be.

"Alright. We've finished the altar, however. Would you like to speak to the deceased?"

"No," she snapped, "not at all." Karin's funeral was a formality. A fuck you to Karin, who happily lied to her face and then fucking left her to the wolves. 

For a moment, the priest looked startled, and then gave Yuzu the worst thing ever: a genuine look of compassion. She wanted to flip him off. 

"Kurosaki-san, I understand your anger. Betrayal." He clasped her shoulders. "But please know... you loved her. And you still do. Use this to let go of your grief and vexation."

Yuzu frowned. "Maybe later."

She looked over her shoulder. Ichigo, Isshin, Orihime, and Rukia arrived then. Yuzu bowed to the priest. "If you'll excuse me."

She met with Rukia first. Rukia, who was under no obligation to tell her anything, like her family was, and thus, the only one Yuzu could handle speaking to without being doused in a white hot rage.

Yuzu was still angry with her, however. She'd taken Ichigo from her family. 

Rukia bowed to her. "Yuzu. How are you faring?"

"Unwell," Yuzu admitted. "I'm angry with all of you. I'm sad my sister is gone."

"Understandable," she said. "Sit with me?"

"Absolutely not. You're sitting rows behind us," she said. Rukia hummed. It was hard to get a read on her sometimes, but Yuzu knew it was something that would hurt Rukia, who was one of Ichigo's closest friends, immensely, to not sit with the family.

"I didn't mean during the ceremony. I just want to talk." 

Yuzu folded her arms. "We can talk here."

Rukia sighed. "Alright," she said. "I just want to remind you that sometimes, we do things we think will protect our loved ones, and it ends up backfiring. But Ichigo loves you. Dearly."

Yuzu's nostrils flared. "I don't give a flying fuck why he deceived me for years, Rukia. The fact is, all of you lied to my face, year after year, and now my sister's dead." Her lip curled with disgust. Loathing. "None of you are my family. None of you care about me. This conversation is over."

"Just... take your time to think this over."

Her lips pursed and she turned away. In the doorway, she saw Ururu.

Ururu... sweet Ururu. Beautiful in a black dress and impossibly long hair.

It hurt more, Ururu, Yuzu's love, keeping secrets from her. She glared at Ururu when their eyes met, but Ururu seemed ultimately unfazed by it. She stood with Yuzu, faxing into her eyes. How Yuzu melted under those eyes.

"Given the option, I would've told you much sooner."

"I know. I know it's Isshin and Ichigo's fault." Deep down, Yuzu always knew Jinta and Ururu were puppeteered by intimidation. Ichigo was so overbearing when he thought he was protecting something. Suffocating. "I'm just so... so mad at them, Ururu."

"I'm... I'm feeling a lot of things," Ururu agreed.

Yuzu grabbed Ururu's hand. Ururu, the only person she could trust. Ururu, the only person she could cling to when she was miserable. "Come to the cremation? I think you're the only one I trust anymore. I... I can't even look at my family anymore. I need you with me."

"Of course," Ururu replied, smiling.

Yuzu sniffed. Thank god. Her head fell against her chest, and she whispered, "... is Karin here?"

"Yeah. She's with your brother."

She hummed. "Can you tell Ichigo we're about to begin, then?" she asked. "I... I don't wanna talk to him. I'll show you your guys' seat when you're back."

"Of course."

Yuzu could've kissed Ururu right there. God, she longed for comfort.

Only seconds later, she spotted the last person she wanted to see: Toushirou Hitsugaya. He looked a little older, taller, but that was the same smug look, the same white hair.

Yuzu knew that scumbag had something to do with Karin's suicide. She stormed over, aching to knock his teeth down his throat!

Rukia escaped as she stormed over. She met Toushirou toe-to-toe. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Your father said we were welcomed to the ceremony."

Of course, he did! She was going to strangle that man. Beat him to death with his damn limbs! 

She jabbed her finger against his chest. Hot with rage. "You murdered my sister! I don't want you here!"

"And I do?"

She whipped to the young woman by his side. Beautiful in every way, from her face to her kimono. How dare he bring another girlfriend to Karin's funeral. "And who is this skank?"

"My sister," he said, "don't treat her like my mistress."

Toushirou's sister held Yuzu's hands and gave her a genuine look of compassion. "We are here to grieve just as ye," she said. "I understand how difficult this is. My husband passed during a tumultuous time. We hadn't the time to bury him, either."

Yuzu relaxed. Like ice on fire. His sister was crying like the pain was fresh. It almost made Yuzu cry with her. She looked at her feet, ashamed, sad. Everything hurt so much, she wanted to take it out on anything she could. Remind them of the pain they caused her. 

But Toushirou's sister had no part in it. It was unfair.

"I'm sorry," Yuzu said, "It's been a long couple of days.

Momo bowed. "There's nothing to apologize for. If you need anything, please let me know. I haven't service at home, but Urahara-san can reach me if needed." Yuzu nodded in response. "May we take a seat?" 

Yuzu gestured to the last rows. "In the back, please. The front rows are taken."

"Aye. Thank you again, Kurosaki-san."

As Toushirou and his sister took a seat, Yuzu's eyes met with Ururu. She pointed to their seat, then held up ten fingers. Ten minutes until the start. Ururu seemed to get the message.

Yuzu sat between Isshin and Ichigo. It was so tense between them. So tense, they couldn't face one another.

Yuzu stared straight ahead and awaited the ceremony.


	6. Melancholy of the court jester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isshin grieves and hopes his children aren't lost to him.

Isshin sat with Kisuke and Tessai, some of his only friends. Confidants.

He missed his daughter and she wasn't yet gone. Oh, but soon she would be. Given away to a boy he once knew well. It wasn't her wedding, though. He wished he got to see that. Karin in a beautiful kimono, glowing with happiness, next to someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

Instead, he got to watch her run away, never to be seen until his expiration.

And in the meantime, his children torn asunder. Hopelessly drifting in rivers of pain and confusion. He wished he was more like Masaki in those times. Empathetic, wise. But he was just a silly old man with nothing to offer but platitudes.

God, it hurt. So much so he couldn't sleep that night. Isshin sought refuge with the Urahara house in the wee hours of the morning. Tessai made tea, and Isshin cried.

"This is a fucking disaster," he said as he rubbed his eyes.

Kisuke said, "They're children. They'll understand down the line."

Isshin wasn't so sure. He leaned his head on his palm and stared at the wall as his thoughts spun. What could he have done to protect them better? To have not isolated them? And Yuzu... sweet Yuzu, blind to her siblings' tribulations until her twin couldn't take it any longer. What should he have told her? What could he do to ease her pain?

He shook his head as he wept. It was so overwhelming. "I don't think Yuzu will speak to me ever again... A fucking disaster."

Isshin blinked when he saw Kisuke pass him smokes. Isshin smoked irregularly. Socially, at Masaki's grave. That was all. He knew better. He was a doctor.

It seemed like an appropriate time to smoke, though. God knew he needed a buzz. 

When he felt Karin die, he lost his legs. He wanted to run, run, run until it wasn't true anymore. Until he stopped feeling his lungs clogging with water and the agony of losing a child.

Was Karin lost? It felt like it, but she was only moving onto another world, the world she pined for day and night, year after year.

A world far away from them. From him.

Isshin curled his lips into his mouth. "I'm... I don't know how to fix this." How he was supposed to get his baby girl back. 

Tessai said, dripping with only the utmost sympathy and understanding, "We're past fixing. Now... now it's just damage control. Repairing your relationship with Yuzu. Giving Karin your best."

Isshin shook his head. "Will they even hear me out?"

"Maybe. Hopefully."

"I can try talking to Karin," Kisuke said. "I don't have a rapport with Yuzu, however.

"No. No, no. I've done enough damage. Anything I say will only worsen this." Only alienate himself from his babies more.

He remembered when they were still in cribs. Chubby and giggly. How they snuggled against his chest, how their heads smelled like love. How, once upon a time, Karin and Yuzu curled up with each other in their crib.

God, he missed his babies. 

"She's a bright girl, that Karin," Tessai said, extinguishing his cigarette in an ashtray. "She knows what she wants. How to get there. This was the avenue she saw most expeditious. I'm sure she still regards you all fondly."

Isshin knew that wasn't it. He shook his head. "That's the thing, she hates us all. They all hate each other now." Isshin wiped his face with his thumb. He hadn't stopped crying for days. "Karin's always hated me. Now Yuzu does too because I kept this secret for so long. Ichigo may come to hate me too for all this... They may never speak to me again." All alone, with all his babies gone.

"It's true. This is a disaster," Tessai agreed, But as was your loss of powers. And you made it through that." He held Isshin's hand, rocking it. "Your children are of the resilient ilk. Green and adaptive. They will mend. Grow. Their roots will rejoin yours."

Isshin nodded. He held Tessai's hand in both of his, nodding, sobbing. How he hoped that was true. How he yearned to hold his babies again.

He glanced at the clock. It was almost five-thirty. "I should go home." He needed to get ready. 

He hadn't worn his black suit in years.

"Stay as long as you need," Kisuke reminded him.

"Thank you... but my daughter..." He smiled, thinking of Yuzu. 

"We understand. We'll see you in a couple of hours, Isshin. Take care."

Isshin let himself out, feeling dreary, exhausted.

He returned home. None of his children were downstairs. He leaned against his poster of Masaki, petting her face with the back of his hand. "I miss you," he said. "I wish you were here. For our children, for me." If Masaki were still around, could she have saved them? Kept them from falling apart?

Isshin pulled away. He couldn't ruminate too long, he needed to get ready. 

A black suit. He hated it. How it was loose in his chest, tight in his gut. He'd let himself go, just like his family.

Yuzu was gone by the time he returned downstairs. Ichigo, with Karin in tow, as well as Rukia and Orhime, accompanied him.

Orihime approached him and squeezed him in a hug. He returned it, squeezing her. She was such a sweet creature. Loving to everything and everyone.

"It's gonna be okay, Dad," she whispered. A precious girl. He was glad Ichigo found someone who loved him so much. Someone unconditionally kind.

"Thank you, dear," Isshin said. He cupped Orihime's cheeks. "We love you so much. You have a loving heart and my unconditional adoration."

She returned his smile. "Thanks. I love you too."

Ichigo clapped his hands. "Let's go. People will start arriving at the wake soon, we best be there before it reaches critical mass."

They all packed into the car. Karin sat in the back, in his rearview mirror. Translucent and unemotional. Ichigo hovered next to her.

It took everything in his power not to cry. Not to scoop her up and tell her how fucking much he loved her.

"We're gonna stay in the back," he grumbled at Karin, "so you can watch all the people you hurt."

Karin snort. "Ironic, coming from you of all people."

"Guys... stop," Rukia sighed. Orihime shifted uncomfortably. "Let's just have a quiet ride."

"No. What Karin did was the epitome of selfishness. We're not gonna tiptoe around that."

Karin stammered, enraged. "The epitome of selfishness?" she screamed. "Me? You're the one who refused to teach me how to protect myself against hollows, Ichigo! You left me to the wolves, all of you!"

"That's not fair to us!"

"Fair? You wanna talk about fair?"

"Enough!" Rukia boomed. "Both of you. You're fighting like children. You're adults. Warriors. This is unbecoming of both of you. If I hear anything above a whisper while we're in the goddamn temple, I'm going to choke both of you out!"

Isshin was grateful Rukia was able to act so quickly, while simultaneously embarrassed he, their father, didn't put his foot down.

He parked behind the temple and they headed in through the front. There were many people already there.

Kisuke met Isshin only minutes after his arrival. They hugged. Isshin was so grateful to have the Urahara there. 

He sniffed. "Thanks for coming. Ichigo's been awful to Karin. I don't know what to do about it... he won't listen to me."

Once he gestured to them in the corner, Kisuke nodded. "I'll talk to him."

Once Kisuke left, Isshin took a seat in the front row, lost in thought, in grief, in the din of the room.

His eyes were glued to Karin's altar. Surrounded by lilies and marigolds. Smiling in her picture with her friends. Did Isshin have any of her? Of all them together, smiling and gleeful?

Isshin was not a religious man. Masaki was, though, a devotee of Kannon, goddess of mercy. Was Karin religious like her mother? Would Kannon listen if he prayed for the areligious?

He asked Kannon to watch over his baby girl Karin in the Seireitei, nonetheless.

The ceremony began with the priest stepping to the front of the room. Isshin's breath caught in his throat.

He cried through the entire ceremony. The blessings, the kind words... Utterly overwhelming.

It came to an end. He only wanted to hold Karin more.

Isshin tore himself from his chair and found Karin. Ichigo intercepted them. "We need to go," he said, "handoff is soon."

"I don't care. Karin is my daughter. I'm going to say goodbye," he snapped at Ichigo. They stared off before Ichigo stepped aside.

Karin stared numbly. "I love you," Isshin said. "I always have, and always will. You are my daughter. I will never stop loving you." He hugged her. "Never forget that. Not for a minute."

She separated from him. "Bye, Old Man."

It broke his heart. A farewell so impersonal. Still, he swallowed, cried, and nodded.

There was no fixing this.


	7. Flooding are the estuaries of grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo has done all he can to protect his family. Coping with failure is the most difficult thing he's ever done.

Karin sat in the corner of Ichigo's eye all night. A dark silhouette in the corner, watching him watch her. He didn't sleep at all that night. Afraid she'd vanish the second he closed his eyes. A legitimate concern, for all he knew. Karin was vindictive enough to kill herself the second he turned his back, it wasn't a leap of logic to assume she'd skip town on her funeral day to make her start in the Seireitei as early as possible.

He snarled every time he thought about it. How easily she left them for greener pastures like they didn't love her so much.

Ichigo hurt so badly. How could she have put her family through yet another death? Put Yuzu through it? Yuzu, blind to spirits, unable to pass into the Seireitei to visit. Unable to see Karin for decades, if ever again.

Eventually, Ichigo gave up on sleep and sat up. Karin didn't move. Statuesque in her staring. Ghostly. How appropriate.

"I'll take you downstairs while I get ready," he said, pushing his fingers through his hair. "Orihime is downstairs."

Karin's head cocked. "Like I can't watch myself?"

"You killed yourself," Ichigo reminded her.

"I agreed to stay for the ceremony."

"You say a lot of things that you don't mean."

Her eyes were like daggers. Silver, sharp, fearsome. Ichigo was not afraid though. She said, "Like what? Like I didn't mean I needed help protecting myself against hollows?"

Ichigo groaned. "I'm not going to argue with you." He grabbed her by her shoulder and opened his bedroom door. "Orihime! Are you awake?"

Orihime jogged up the stairs, her footfalls pounding up every step, and then stopped before his room. She was tired, her eyes pink, but she smiled at Karin.

"Hi. I hope you slept," she told Karin. Ichigo was glad Orihime was talking to her instead. Orihime had a soothing quality about her. Ichigo had no idea how it worked, but it was damn effective, and he was grateful it be used on Karin, with an ever-present temper.

Karin merely hummed. Ichigo had to roll his eyes, watching Orihime's smile do the exact opposite. It looked like she was about to fucking explode.

"I'll see you downstairs," Karin grumbled, pushing Orihime's hands away. 

"Fix your attitude while you're at it!" he called after Karin.

He'd chase her down and make her apologize to Orihime, but he had a funeral to prepare for. Ichigo rarely had occasions to wear it to, and he liked it that way. A dress suit had no pride in it, not like his shihakusho. All a black suit meant were farewells he wasn't ready for.

Ichigo moistened his mouth. He hadn't realized he was about to cry, nor did Ichigo realize his mouth had gone dry until it felt like there was a thin film coating his cheeks and tongue.

He wasn't ready to let Karin go, as angry as he was with her deliberately abandoning them.

Ichigo's suit was too small for him those days. Pinched his armpits, bit into his hips, too high on his ankles. Showed how often he wore it. "God damn it..." Briefly, he considered using his blue suit, but Yuzu would fucking annihilate him. Ichigo would let her, too, if he was in her shoes.

Wakes were for the living, after all. Karin was just sticking around to see all the damage she wrought.

Ichigo returned downstairs. Rukia cut him off at the base.

She was pretty, wearing a black dress with a modest bodice and mesh frills for the skirt. It looked like something Yuzu would wear if she was into the whole alt scene. But Rukia was stern. Something told Ichigo she wasn't there to hold his hand.

"This is unbelievable," she said.

He said, dumbly, "What?"

Rukia pushed him up the stairs with one hand. He let her, only out of confusion. "You understand the danger you're putting everyone in keeping her here, Ichigo? I get your reikaku is shit, but she's spouting reiatsu like a fucking firehouse." She pointed at him with a slender, sharp finger. "This whole wake is a bunch of bullshit. What's punishing her accomplishing?"

"It's-"

"Do you fucking feel any better? Does it make Yuzu or your dad feel any better?"

"Well, no, but that's not the point- ow!"

Rukia slapped him. Her nostrils flared. "You're being an incorrigible jackass. I have never seen you so apathetic before." Rukia folded her arms. "What this is, is you're leveraging your power over your family and the Seireitei to abuse a sick, young girl."

"Rukia, what the fuck?" Ichigo pushed her off him. "She doesn't get to just dump us here and fucking run off."

"She's not-" Rukia stopped before her voice reached a shrill crescendo. She took a deep breath. "Allow me to return to the original point. This is reckless. You're gathering many of us here. I, Hitsugaya-taichou, and Hinamori-fukutaichou, all are wearing gigai that suppress our power."

Ichigo lip curled. "He's already here?" God, just hearing that little bastard's name made his blood boil.

"Focus, Ichigo!" she snapped. "Our gigai may suppress our powers, but what's suppressing yours? Your father's? Your friends'? Yours? Karin's?" She leaned in and hissed, "Forget how fucking unethical this is. The wake is gonna turn into a fucking free-for-all for hollows! You wanna put Yuzu through that? After this?"

Ichigo's sighed. He pinched his sinuses. "Okay, I see your point. But we've already got the hand out planned."

"I told you this days ago and you ignored me!" Rukia scoffed. "Get your fucking act together, and fast."

Rukia stormed back down the stairs. Ichigo cursed under his breath. Briefly, he laid his head against the cool wall. Could he do anything right? Anything to keep everyone safe and happy?

Reluctantly, he came into the commons, tugging off his blazer and throwing it over his shoulder. "Where's Yuzu?"

"Gone already," Orihime said. "I saw her walk out before I hopped in the shower. Didn't look like she wanted to talk."

Isshin came down the stairs then. Orihime hopped over to him, and Ichigo let them talk for a minute. Someone needed to comfort Isshin. He had no idea how to do it.

Ichigo then clapped his hands. "Let's go. People will start arriving at the wake soon, we best be there before it reaches critical mass."

Once they filed into the van, Ichigo sat in the back with Karin. He was both repulsed by her and gravitated to her. Wanted to get himself as far away from her and hold her. Brotherhood was so fucking confusing. Life was so fucking confusing.

Why couldn't he have the answers like Shinji did? Or Kisuke? All that experience under their belts, and yet Ichigo only learned combat.

Idiot. He should've gotten more life lessons out of that shit while he could.

They'd be at the temple soon, though. Ichigo said, "We're gonna stay in the back so you can watch all the people you hurt."

Karin snort. "Ironic, coming from you of all people." Ichigo ground his teeth.

"Guys... stop. Let's just have a quiet ride," Rukia said.

"No," he replied. Rukia had a point. Piling so many spiritually sensitive people into one place was a bad idea, but what was done was done. "What Karin did was the epitome of selfishness. We're not gonna tiptoe around that."

Karin screamed, "The epitome of selfishness? Me? You're the one who refused to teach me how to protect myself against hollows, Ichigo! You left me to the wolves, all of you!"

"That's not fair to us!" he snapped back.

"Fair? You wanna talk about fair?"

"Enough!" Rukia boomed. "Both of you. You're fighting like children. You're adults. Warriors. This is unbecoming of both of you. If I hear anything above a whisper while we're in the goddamn temple, I'm going to choke both of you out!"

Ichigo and his sister begrudgingly quieted. He stared straight ahead, seething with conflict and anger.

But they parked eventually. Ichigo took Karin inside and they waited in the back corner.

"I hate you," Karin said. "All this you're doing is complete bullshit."

"No one else is pointing out what an ass you are, so I gotta."

"Because no one thinks I'm an ass."

They were interrupted by a familiar face. Sarugaki Hiyori hadn't bothered wearing a dress that day, or even black. Not that Ichigo was particularly torn up about it. The black was for Yuzu.

She said, ever-displeased, "I'm here on behalf of the Vizard."

Ichigo smiled and bowed. "Thank you. Your representation means a great deal to our family, Sarugaki."

"Cute," she replied, before turning to Karin. "You're a spunky one."

Karin folded her arms. "What's it to you?"

"Got a good head on your shoulders?"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "No. She killed herself. Sarugaki, what's this about?"

Hiyori hushed him with her sandal slammed against his mouth. Ow. Message received loud and clear.

"Well? Do you?"

"... in Karakura, where we're hunted," Karin said, "I died by choice. No thug, no hollow, none of that." She frowned then. "I hunted hollows with no training, infrequent help... and won, many times. Enough that I know what I want now."

Hiyori looked Karin up and down before nodding. "You'll do fine, kid."

"Thank you."

Hiyori left without another word. Another person filling Karin's head with a suicide mission... just what they needed.

"A friend?" Karin asked.

"Yes. And comrade. She's competent, but... I pick and choose what to listen to from her."

"From me, too."

Ichigo was about to defend himself they were approached by Kisuke.

Kisuke said, "Hey there," and Ichigo smiled. Kisuke was like an uncle to Ichigo in many ways. His mentor, his support, his friend. Even if his kids were turds. "How're you guys holding up?"

"My sister killed herself, so not well," he said in response.

"I'm right fucking here, asshole," Karin barked. Ichigo refrained from glaring at her.

"I know it's a stressful time for both of you, but I hope you remember how much you love each other."

"That's never been enough for her..." Ichigo mumbled.

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here! Everyone here knows about ghosts to some extent, there's no point in trynna be discreet! You're just ignoring me when you're not telling me what to do."

Ichigo folded his arms. "She's been like this for days," he said. When Kisuke hugged them, he hugged him back. Soft. Loving.

"Let's be kind for now," Kisuke said. "You're family. We're family. We'll get through this."

Ichigo pat Kisuke's back. "Thanks," he said. He was trying. Trying to be good, to keep everyone safe, happy.

Kisuke took a seat afterward. Ichigo didn't speak. However, Karin was talkative.

"They helped every way they could. Perfect strangers, with no obligation to me," Karin said. Her eyes bore into the side of his head. "You did nothing but strand me."

"That's not fair to me. Everything I've done has been to protect you guys," he snarled back. Before he could continue, Ururu approached. God, did the place have a revolving door?"

"Yuzu says we'll be starting soon, and asks you to take a seat."

"I'm almost finished here," he grumbled, intending to give Karin a piece of his mind.

"The immediate family needs to be in place. Please don't make this any more difficult than it needs to be. This is a trying enough occasion."

He frowned. Ururu had a point. Best keep Yuzu pleased. After their fight the other night, he didn't want to be on an even worse side of her. "Alright." He turned to Karin. "We're not done here."

She sneered. "We are now."

Ichigo tucked his hands into the pockets of his blazer and walked to the front row to sit with his family. Everyone was so snide, so mean, when he had nothing more to offer but love and guardianship. It was painful.

Thankfully, the ceremony was a breeze. Ichigo grabbed Karin and left for the meeting place, the underside of an overpass by the waterway. He and Karin were silent the entire walk, but Ichigo was practically cooking in the silence. He was so hurt, so mad that Karin was being taken away, and that she so badly wanted to be away. As far away from the World of the Living as possible.

What did Toushirou have to do with it? Why was Karin so obsessed with him? With the Soul Society? What lies had that little freak filled her head with?

If Ichigo wouldn't see her again for years, he was going to get answers.

Karin took a seat on a makeshift bench upon arrival. She looked at her shoes and kicked her feet. They waited in silence. He sweats under his blazer.

Finally, Toushirou and an older woman, stinking of smoke and wrinkled by years of it, arrived. He recognized the woman as Hinamori Momo of gobantai. Shinji's associate. She was... uglier than he remembered.

Ichigo supposed being stabbed did that to a person.

"Thank you for allowing us into your sister's service, Kurosaki-sama," Momo said, bowing.

"It wasn't my choice." He folded his arms. She was kissing his ass, judging by the hateful stares Toushirou shot him.

Momo smiled. "Nonetheless, I'd like this to be done in an as expeditious manner as possible."

"Let's go." Before Karin reached them, Ichigo stopped her with one arm. He returned Toushirou's glare.

"Hang on," he said, "I want him to admit his fault in this."

"Jesus Christ!" Karin shrieked. "I killed myself because there's nothing for me here! Toushirou had nothing to fucking do with it."

"Bullshit!" Ichigo argued. "He had to have said something."

"It's your fault I killed myself, alright? It's all your fault! I got tired of getting steamrolled and gaslit by you so I killed myself to get the hell away from you!" Karin ducked his arm and ran over to Toushirou. "I'm going to the Seireitei. I'm becoming a shinigami... It's the only way I'll be happy. Fulfilled."

Ichigo was stunned. Hurt. Knocked off balance, the world flipped around. She clung to Toushirou like a lifeline. Anything to get away from him. 

What had he done wrong? All he did was try to protect his family and friends. Why was it thrown back into his face? Why did it backfire? Why did everything he does hurt Karin?

Before Ichigo could ask, she was gone, taken into the Soul Society to live a life free of them. Ichigo collapsed onto the hard-packed dirt and wept in earnest for the first time in years.

He recalled Hueco Mundo. He recalled dying, hollowfying. How badly it hurt. It paled in comparison to that moment.


	8. The funeral march

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karin is ready to suffer no more.

Karin sat in the corner of her brother's room. She was staring numbly at his silhouette, not at him, but into the distance.

The last couple of days made Karin numb. A blur of resentment, anxiety, and nothingness. Sometimes cyclical, other times concurrent. Was it her suicide driving her mad? Or the waiting? She killed herself to become a shinigami, after all, but Ichigo delayed it in the name of punishment. Like she wasn't in enough pain already.

He sat up around seven in the morning and said, "I'll take you downstairs while I get ready. Orihime is downstairs."

"Like I can't watch myself?" she asked, her lip curling.

"You killed yourself," he replied with an acerbic bite. 

"I agreed to stay for the ceremony." 

"You say a lot of things you don't mean.

"Like what?" she snapped, glaring at him. "Like I didn't mean I needed help protecting myself against hollows?" Karin was ready to swear, to fucking kick him. Ichigo always ignored her fear, and then blamed her, of all people, when shit hit the fan and she got hurt. 

Ichigo replied, "I'm not going to argue with you." He grabbed her by her shoulder and opened his bedroom door. His grip was iron, and Karin grimaced as her collar popped. "Orihime! Are you awake?"

Karin heard Orihime jog up the stairs. When she stopped in front of Ichigo's room, Karin took note of her puffy face. She had to have been crying before. Like it was some great fucking loss that Karin was ready for greener pastures. Like they were friends, to begin with. 

"Hi. I hope you slept," she told Karin. 

Karin hummed. She was dead. She didn't sleep. She merely told Ichigo, Swatting Orihime's hand away from her own, "I'll see you downstairs."

"Fix your attitude while you're at it!" he called after Karin. She rolled her eyes.

Karin completely ignored Orihime and Rukia downstairs and took to standing in the corner, out of the way and away from the action. She liked it that way.

Ichigo came downstairs a few minutes later, dressed in an ugly suit she hadn't seen in years. He clapped to get everyone's attention. "Let's go. People will start arriving at the wake soon, we best be there before it reaches critical mass."

Karin gravitated to the back of the van. Ichigo sat with her, and she pressed herself as far as she could into the sideboard. She didn't want to be next to him. With him at all. She just wanted to go to the Seireitei, cuddle Toushirou, put the whole thing behind her.

He whispered to Karin a couple of minutes into the ride, "We're gonna stay in the back so you can watch all the people you hurt."

Karin snort. "Ironic, coming from you of all people."

"Guys... stop. Let's just have a quiet ride," Rukia said.

"No," he replied. "What Karin did was the epitome of selfishness. We're not gonna tiptoe around that."

She had enough. Enough of being called selfish, of being ignored. Karin screamed, "The epitome of selfishness? Me? You're the one who refused to teach me how to protect myself against hollows, Ichigo! You left me to the wolves, all of you!"

"That's not fair to us!" he snapped back.

"Fair? You wanna talk about fair?"

"Enough!" Rukia boomed. Karin's chest seized. "Both of you. You're fighting like children. You're adults. Warriors. This is unbecoming of both of you. If I hear anything above a whisper while we're in the goddamn temple, I'm going to choke both of you out!"

Karin followed Ichigo to the back after they came to the temple. She said, "I hate you. All this you're doing is complete bullshit."

"No one else is pointing out what an ass you are, so I gotta."

"Because no one thinks I'm an ass," she spat.

A young woman, unkempt, with a feral aura and a tracksuit, approached them. "I'm here on behalf of the Vizard."

Jinta told her about the Vizard. Shinigami experimented on and transformed into failed hollow experiments. A formidable and respected population due to their power. While half of them were restored as captains in the Gotei, the other half remained in Karakura.

Karin never met them before and hadn't expected a visit from them.

Ichigo smiled and bowed. "Thank you. Your representation means a great deal to our family, Sarugaki."

"Cute," she replied, before turning to Karin. Her heart thumped under Sarugaki's sharp, golden gaze. Karin was reminded of a wolf. "You're a spunky one."

Karin put on a brave face and folded her arms. "What's it to you?"

"Got a good head on your shoulders?"

"No. She killed herself," Ichigo said before Karin reply. She glared at him, but he seemed to ignore her. "Sarugaki, what's this about?"

Hiyori slammed against his mouth. Karin grinned. It was about time.

Sarugaki said, "Well? Do you?"

Karin said after a moment of hesitation,"... in Karakura, where we're hunted, I died by choice. No thug, no hollow, none of that." She frowned then. "I hunted hollows with no training, infrequent help... and won, many times. Enough that I know what I want now."

Hiyori looked Karin up and down before nodding. "You'll do fine, kid."

She smiled. "Thank you." She was genuinely flattered someone with the air of an apex predator thought so highly of her.

As Sarugaki left, Karin asked Ichigo, "A friend?"

"Yes. And comrade. She's competent, but... I pick and choose what to listen to from her."

"From me, too." It was a habit of his. No one's opinion seemed to matter to him.

Kisuke then approached. "Hey there," he said. Karin was grateful he was there. The Urahara part of her few allies. Everyone there was Ichigo's friends. She had no one. "How're you guys holding up?"

"My sister killed herself, so not well," Ichigo said in response.

"I'm right fucking here, asshole," Karin barked.

"I know it's a stressful time for both of you, but I hope you remember how much you love each other," Kisuke said, smiling.

"That's never been enough for her..." Ichigo mumbled.

She again snapped, "Stop talking about me like I'm not here! Everyone here knows about ghosts to some extent, there's no point in trynna be discreet! You're just ignoring me when you're not telling me what to do."

Ichigo folded his arms. "She's been like this for days," he said. Like she was the problem. Karin's eyes watered. She was so fucking frustrated! 

Kisuke hugged them. Karin curled in on herself, trying to separate herself from Ichigo to no avail. Why was she so stuck? "Let's be kind for now," Kisuke said. "You're family. We're family. We'll get through this."

Ichigo pat Kisuke's back. "Thanks," he said.

Kisuke took a seat afterward. Ichigo didn't speak. She took the opportunity to.

"They helped every way they could. Perfect strangers, with no obligation to me," Karin said. Her eyes bore into the side of his head. Ichigo didn't look at her. "You did nothing but strand me."

"That's not fair to me. Everything I've done has been to protect you guys," he snarled back. 

Ururu approached them. Karin felt sad seeing her. Jinta and Ururu were her best friends. More like family. Karin was sad she was leaving them. All those years of camaraderie down the drain.

She looked at her feet. It was too hard to meet Ururu's eyes.

A minute later, Ururu said, "I love you." And she nodded. She loved Ururu too, and couldn't manage to say it.

Maybe she was a coward. Maybe she was selfish.

She couldn't look up from her shoes during the ceremony. She didn't absorb a word of the ceremony. It was as if her spirit discarded her mind during those periods, and the world wasn't real. Only a film racing past her eyes.

And she knew she was being talked to. By Rukia, by Orihime, by Isshin, but heard none of it, as if they were in the distance.

She and Ichigo were under an aqueduct soon, and it was only when Karin felt Toushirou's reiatsu that she became grounded again.

He was with a woman. Was that Momo, his sister? She was more beautiful than Karin pictured. Despite her small body, she oozed dignity. Experience. 

"Thank you for allowing us into your sister's service, Kurosaki-sama," Momo said, bowing.

Ichigo folded his arms. "It wasn't my choice." 

Momo smiled. "Nonetheless, I'd like this to be done in an as expeditious manner as possible."

Karin flew to her feet and walked to Toushirou. "Let's go," she said.

Ichigo stopped her with his arm. He emitted resentment and glared at Toushirou. "Hang in. I want him to admit his fault in this."

Her nostrils flared. It was one thing insulting her, but Toushirou was her best friend, her lifeline.

"Jesus Christ!" Karin shrieked. "I killed myself because there's nothing for me here! Toushirou had nothing to fucking do with it."

"Bullshit!" Ichigo argued. "He had to have said something."

"It's your fault I killed myself, alright? It's all your fault! I got tired of getting steamrolled and gaslit by you so I killed myself to get the hell away from you!" Karin ducked his arm and ran over to Toushirou. "I'm going to the Seireitei. I'm becoming a shinigami... It's the only way I'll be happy. Fulfilled." As far away from him as she could be.

Karin clung to Toushirou. She felt his pride, and Ichigo's pain, as they left the World of the Living.

Left behind an existence of despondency.


End file.
